Scene:  Checking out at WalMart, stuck behind a caravan of friends with 4 kids between them. 

Girl #1: Check out my new tattoo, Bobby.  Just got it two weeks ago.  (lifts tank top above her bra, points to stomach)

Boy #1:  Wow, sweet!  Is it finished?

Girl #1:  No, not yet.  The guy wants me to shade it in with black, but I’m thinking about doing a lighter green.  See?  Like this one.  (points to top of right breast, still showing her bra)

Boy #2:  Did _____ do your tattoo?  Cuz that dude is awesome.  When I got my balls pierced, he did ‘em right.

Girl #1:  Nope.  ______ did the tattoo.  _____ pierced me. 

Me:  said silently, but like a fervent prayer:  Please god, please god, please god do not show the girl your pierced scrotum.  PLEASE. 

Boy #2:  Well, if you ever want your ass pierced, he’s the guy to do it.

I need a shower.