In answer to the question of the day, No, We Have Not Closed Yet. 

There are lots of concerned people in my life and I’m super grateful for the fact that those people still care enough to ask.  But I hate never having new information to give.  It makes me a little more cuckoo than usual.

Nope, no closing.  An excerpt from the voicemail I left for Citi yesterday:  “You are about to lose what amounts to a half million dollar deal over $6500.  Either work this out, or come and foreclose.  There are no other options.”  I was NOT nice.  Between the lawyers calling and the realtors calling, my voicemail was #6 for yesterday.  Squeaky wheel, anyone?  It’s so insane that we are this close ... and yet, nothing.  Both banks are digging in their heels.  Neither is giving.  Neither is talking.  The rest of us are running around, trying to tell the two petulant children we have in our lives to please play nicely or we’re all going down in flames.  So far, threats of time outs and no stories at bedtime have not worked. 

We have no leverage, no ability to say no. The worst part about this process has been that we are at the buyer’s mercy.  We have no alternatives, they know we are backed into a corner.  I can feel the glee emanating from their corner of the world.  Tomorrow they take possession of the house, without paying rent.  If something breaks or they decide they are unhappy with something else (and there’s been plenty so far), we are on the hook for it.  In the meantime, Citi’s collection department calls me no less than 8 times per day (including Sundays!) wanting their mortgage payment.  Oh, the irony!!!  We’d LOVE to give you the money owed if you guys would get your heads out of your rectums long enough to let us close. 

In a “normal” situation, as the seller, making money off the deal, we could have said long ago, “take your money and pound salt”.  Because they are actually negotiating with the banks, we have no say in just about anything.  Every time I want to dig my heels in, my realtor tells me to take a time out or threatens to verbally spank me.  If we call their bluff, we could end up in foreclosure.  And to be this close - for all of us - and still end in foreclosure - well, let’s just say that there will be a lot of angry tears over the situation.  Especially for the buyers and the realtors.  We have no money to make, so it’s a bitter-making potion for us that everyone else is getting the benefits of the disaster that is our life right now.

I don’t know.  I want to be positive - I really do - but I would like to see something become final.  I would like to be able to go away this weekend knowing that the house in Wyndham is gone, baby, gone, and I never, ever have to go back there unless I want to.  I would like the weight of this house off my shoulders for the first time since January, and I would like to sit in the hot springs of Virginia alone with my thoughts about anything - literally anything - other than the house.