“Stop smacking your sausage!” Yes, it’s true - those words came out of Mike’s mouth, directed at Lily. She has decided that when she’s done eating, she either throws the food on the ground (Delilah loves that one) or she hits it with her hand until every piece of food is flat and mushy and ground into her high chair.
“Don’t jam that up Arden’s nose!” That one was me, today, at the pediatrician’s office, trying to control Lily, who had gotten ahold of Dr. Derco’s tongue depressor and was trying to widen Arden’s nostril with it.
“Hands, HANDS! Hands OUT of the MOUTH!” Again, me. Trying to get Lily to stop putting her fingers in her mouth. She’s obsessed with eating her hands.
“Don’t eat that marble!” Lily recently found a marble, and has been trying to give me a heartattack by putting it in her mouth all the time. Even more than her hands.
“Stop touching your sister!” Suddenly, she “loves” Arden. This means she’s constantly trying to sit on, suffocate, smash, step on, or hug Arden to death.
“Don’t TOUCH the dog food!” This one is self-explanatory. At least she hasn’t eaten any of it lately.
“Stop touching the toilet!” Again, self-explanatory. She loves to splash (or as Lily says, “flash”) in the water. Even if it’s dirty toilet water. Erghhhhhhhhhh.
“Stop touching yourself!” I’ll just leave this one alone. For any of you with young children, you know exactly what I mean.
“Don’t eat the diaper!” The final straw today for me - after an hour of hell in the pediatrician’s office, Lily took all of Arden’s diapers out of the closet and began walking around with them in her mouth like some kind of rabid animal.
This is just a random sampling of some of the insane phrases Mike and I both utter on a random basis. I’m sure there are plenty more, but I’ll leave it at that. Suffice to say, we made it through another round of shots for Arden (4 of them), another weight check for Lily (22 pounds), and hopefully we’ll make it through one last week at Tuckaway without Lily getting some funky gross stomach yuck. There’s always hope . . . for the end, I’ll leave you with some recent pictures of Lily, learning to eat apples.
