Okay, some funny stories to report. First, today was the second day in Lily’s first year of life that I wanted to quit my job as a mother. 2 days out of nearly 365 isn’t bad, considering my previous life - my “want to quit my day job” ratio was MUCH higher. Like, 170 out of 365. The first day I wanted to quit motherhood (and literally remember saying outloud, “WHAT THE HELL WAS I THINKING???”) was in week two of Lily’s life, day 9 - nursing was a nightmare. My nipples were cracked and bleeding and I couldn’t get things just right, and I remember it being 4 AM and sitting in the guest room, crying and looking at Lily and saying “Why can’t you do this right???” as if tiny baby like she was could understand, let alone do anything about it. It’s kind of funny in retrospect. For all you breastfeeding mommies out there: you are all my heroes.
So, day two of hating motherhood . . . I helped out at my parent’s today. After I nearly had a stroke because my dad’s computer was messed up yet again, Lily decided to flat out refuse to nap. Not only refuse, but she stood in her pack and play screaming at the top of her lungs. She also entertained me on the 30 minute drive this morning by exercising her lungs, even managing to scream over the top of NPR. I pretended not to hear it.
After nap 1 was a bust, I was hoping for a nice long one this afternoon. All of our stress levels are high - I’m fighting some nasty cough thing and we’re anticipating an active week - so when nap 2 began to go by the wayside, and it was apparent Ms. Lily was not going to sleep, I got creative and went in there. I laid down next to the pack and play and tried to pretend I was sleeping on the floor next to her (it wasn’t all that far from the truth). Next thing I know, I feel something hit my head, and I look up. Lily is peering over the top of the crib and throwing her pacifier, followed by a stuffed animal, directly at my melon. I handed the binky back and pretended to sleep. “TINK.” It hit my head again. I hand it back. “TINK. THUNK.” Binky followed by bear. This went on until round 11, when I decided I had had enough and made haste out of the room.
She screamed all the way home, but you know what? She’s sleeping blissfully, and peacefully, in her crib right now, and the sight of her sweet face (with the big, red puffy eyes) is enough to make me forget my day in “No Nap Hell”.
Oh yeah, and while I was leaving a voice mail for a client who was having an emergency, she simultaneously fell and hit her head while someone rang my doorbell. As I rushed for the doorbell, I pulled the phone off the desk and ripped the receiver off accidentally, then tripped on her cart and fell on my face. I’m going to have a drink now.
