I’ve been fairly absent from the blogging/twitter/facebook world lately, but that’s only because I’ve been consumed by both client work and getting the house to a presentable level.  My kids apparently take after me - they don’t like chaos all up in their face, especially in their home.  Things are definitely better and I’ve been managing to accomplish quite a few tasks every day.

Robey was entirely awesome and surprised me Friday by showing up with both food and boys to help put things away and get my family room to the point where you could sit in it.  I plied them with Bourbon and we unpacked a bunch of boxes, and I got some much needed downtime on the screen porch when I probably should have been working.  One of the helpers didn’t even know me - I am glad I got to meet Alisa, and she’s really the bomb for showing up at a strange woman’s house to string lights and break down boxes. And Chad - sorry I spewed pink champagne on your shirt.  I’m not used to drinking from a glass I guess.

Since I’ve been here, I’ve put down new peel and stick tile in my bathroom, watched my brother rip out the bathroom sink and add a cabinet/vanity and a new toilet, ripped out a shower stall door, painted the bedroom, girls’ room and office, unpacked and organized the garage and gardening shed, hung some pictures, unpacked 95% of the boxes, and gone to the grocery store one time.  Last night my dad mowed the front lawn with the new self-propelled mower - that thing is awesome - and I did the back.  Today I spent some time dripping sweat everywhere as I blasted the mack daddy of camel crickets out of the garage with the leaf blower, as well as dust and leaves from who knows how long ago.  I’ve swept and touched more cobwebs and icky spiders than ever, and if this doesn’t cure my massive arachnophobia, nothing ever will.  The girls “decorated” the gardening shed playhouse with lights and pictures of sparkly princesses in ball gowns.  It makes me smile to think that while I’m potting some new flowers, I’ll have little pictures to remind me of their boundless joy and energy.  It doesn’t take much to make them happy.

We all took a much needed break today and headed to Southside to visit our new pool. I joined last night online; it’s affordable and I loved the pool.  It’s very, very “normal”.  None of the Wyndham pretensions, none of the battle of the mom-suits.  The majority were not anorexic with breast implants, and not everyone wore expensive designer suits that aren’t meant to get wet.  Some kids were *gasp* not white.  Some women were poorly dressed or chunkier than I.  The lifeguards were laid back and encouraged Arden to go down the very fast waterslide on her stomach (she did), and they all cheered loudly for her when she popped up victorious.  It takes me 15 minutes to get there, but it’s a road to another world.  There is nothing about it to remind me of past summers in the Wyndham pool, and instead of making me sad, it liberates me. 

I never hated this house I inhabit, but I will be honest.  The first few days here were, well, humbling.  Making ice cubes is a pain in the ass, and something I haven’t done in at least 14 years.  Everything is quirky with this house.  Some might say that’s “charming”, but at first it was just really annoying.  Taking a shower in the bathroom made me shudder.  Everything was coated in either grime or camel crickets or worse yet, random bugs I couldn’t name or spiders I could. The house smelled - that bad combination of old people who aren’t all that clean, uncontrolled and unchecked Virginia humidity, and dog (not mine, either).  I miss the landscaping at the old house and a few luxuries, like my bathtub.  My first nights were spent curled up feeling incredibly alone - not lonely - but alone.  Sometimes I’d cry or think I wasn’t going to make it, but I still never questioned my decision. 

A few weeks out, I’m feeling much better.  The house still has a funk to it, but it’s a diminished funk.  An exterminator has been called; there is a mass exodus of sick, moaning camel crickets from the crawl space and family room.  I haven’t seen any disgusting spiders inside the house, nor has another cockroach appeared in Lily and Arden’s room.  My bathroom has new, very clean, very inexpensive tile.  Nicole’s beautiful curtain designs completely changed my dreary bathroom and my very 1960’s kitchen into something that really looks quirky and charming instead of just really effing ugly.  My bedroom is tiny, but it smells good, has new linens and is completely and utterly mine.  A neighbor showed up with a bowl full of home-grown vegetables - it made me want to cry because it reminded me of the housewarming visits neighbors in Michigan would pay.  My experience in the last neighborhood was that visits were made, but mostly to see what car you drove and fact-finding questions that would be reported back to the minions of Prada-wearing mothers.  I was lucky; both my immediate neighbors were nothing like that - but there was nothing pretentious or nosy about a bowl full of weirdly-shaped zucchini and cucumbers. 

I had some very needed alone time this weekend as well.  I’m still working through a number of issues - decisions are looming, and I’m spending a lot of time thinking through both the “why” of my situation as well as the “what do I want” part.  I still work on gratitude lists and am amazed how many good people have helped me through what can only be described as a disaster of a year.  I wish certain things were different - better - easier - but I’m also through what I’d like to think of as the worst bits.  I’m looking forward to a new, less complicated, less energy-draining and soul-destroying rest of the summer.