It was an exciting day in Momland. Yesterday, I noticed that Lily’s right ear was swollen near the back of her earring. I could tell her ear was infected, but little miss dirty hands has had lots of minor ear infections. By the way, not that you asked, but I kind of regret piercing their ears, hers in particular. Kid paws are bacteria-laden surfaces, and she’s always futzing around with her earrings. We have least one bloody draining earlobe a month. Add my squeamishness about blood to the mix and you’ve got an annoyed momma.
Anyway, this morning her ear lump had doubled in size. The thing looked like it was consuming the backside of her head. It was a lovely evening sunset of colors - purple, yellow, green. She also has this funky spider-looking spot on her left cheek, and I’ve been meaning to call her doctor, so I did. After she got off the bus, I shoved them into their leotards and trucked off to the doctor’s office.
Lily’s spidery spot is, and i quote, a telangiectatasia. This, following Arden’s chalazion. Can my kids please get health or skin issues I can pronounce??? It’s basically not a big deal. It’s kind of ugly, but usually they clear up within a year. I was thrilled that issue #1 was a non-issue. Issue #2, however, was. After the initial doctor looked at the back of Lily’s ear, she called our regular doc in for a second opinion. She was about to send us to an ENT doc, but thankfully my wonderful regular pediatrician said that they could take care of it right there, and right now. Keep in mind I promised Lily there would be no needles. Well, a lance isn’t a needle, right? WRONG.
Poor Lily realized what was happening. She sat on my lap for a minute, clutching me and whimpering. Then she stretched out on her stomach and the doctor came back with a swab and the biggest looking thumbtack thing I’ve ever seen. Unfortunately I was at Lily’s head, holding her hands above it, so I had a clear view of the actual moment of lancing. What nearly did me in, however, was not the soft squishy *pop* sound. It was the blood than began to drain not just from the lanced spot, but from the front and back of her earring. Lily was crying by this time and shaking all over, so I sternly said, “Get it together woman. You WILL NOT PASS OUT.” Arden was the only one thrilled by the excitement. She kept pushing me out of the way and shouting, “LEMME SEE! Oooh, GREEN STUFF!”
Lily was a trooper and suffered through the repetitive squeezing (they wanted some extra pus for a lab test, oh yay!). When I told her how brave she was, she pointed her finger at me and said, “I was NOT brave. I CRIED!” If only she’d known her mom would have just passed out during the same procedure, she would have seen my point of view.
Here’s a picture of Lily’s ear after it was “drained”. Sorry for the blurriness but I took this at night and the lighting was crap. Besides, you’ll be glad I didn’t get a clearer picture of it. It is big and G.R.O.S.S.

And another one of the Telangiectatasia.

If anyone ever deserved ice cream, it was Lily today. She didn’t get any, but I will make it up to her this weekend.
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Briefly, a few people asked me if I was going to continue to pepper this blog with my high school and college persona. I plan to do it on Wednesdays. Some people do “Wordless Wednesdays” where they just post pictures. I’m going to make mine “Whiny Wednesdays” and post embarassing things about myself. I can’t wait!





Oh man, poor Lily! That thing looks like it was painful. I hope she gets her ice cream. And be sure to tell her that brave people are definitely allowed to cry. At least it sounds like Arden didn’t inherit your blood squeamish thing. How nice that she was there to give you guys a play-by-play of all the action.
Gross! Your poor kids and their weird things. What caused her ear grossness? Was it just dirty hands and earrings? Maybe I should wait to get Gwennie’s ears pierced… now that I think about it.
Wow, Lily is such a trooper! You give her a BIG bowl of ice cream, she totally deserves it. My goodness, I can’t believe that thing on the back of her ear, it looks so uncomfortable! Poor thing, poor mommy!
Ok…GROSS!!! Take the earrings out now and leave them out. Otherwise, post no more about disgusting boils on my nieces. Be warned that if you do, I WILL call CPS. They can pierce their ears again. Tori has had to re-pierce at least 3 times.
Holy crap, man… both you AND Lily deserve ice cream goodness. That poor girl!
Your title is cracking me UP! Hilarious, woman. Well, not the experience, clearly, just the title. I’m glad there was nothing to worry about, but your story brought up deeeeesgusting memories of docs jamming a needle into Cooper’s swollen toe after he dropped a candle on it. Ick. Ewww. Poor babies, right? But it’s us moms who get a rough gig too, just having to witness the gore! Ice cream all around!
Great stories mom but I am writing to tell you how disappointed I am in your 365 day project…nothing since January…better shape up niece….thanks