Every time I go through a rough patch in my life, I try to remind myself that usually before things get better, they are usually much worse.  Offsetting the frequent rumblings of tantrums from Arden, Steve’s second admittance to the hospital when his heart rate went cuckoo, the loss of one of our biggest clients (yes, yes, by choice), and lots of other random and icky things was one big preschool we signed as our first real nap mat affiliate program.  That was pretty exciting.  Jennifer is working on doing some preemie gear for March of Dimes; if that happens we’ll have a whopping two corporate clients.  Two is enough for us right now. 

I also forced my mom to cook dinner for my family last night; she’s a little burned out on the cooking front, but I asked nicely and she ended up marinating a delicious flank steak.  The girls didn’t care for it much but they did enjoy her twice baked potatoes very much.  After they destroyed her bathroom with their bathtub crayons and their love of splashing.  She was good-natured about their mess. 

Lily had a complete meltdown at school today when I picked her up.  It’s a little embarassing for me; that majority of her meltdowns (and they aren’t very frequent anymore) happen inevitably within the first five minutes after I arrive.  Today she saw that one of Arden’s friends had given her a chocolate candy, and she immediately started throwing a hissy fit which ended with her yelling, “I don’t LOVE my SISTER ANYMORE AND YOU ARE NOT MY BEST MAMA!!!”  This, because I tried to explain that Arden sometimes gets things Lily doesn’t, just like Lily goes to birthday parties and gets things from her friends that Arden doesn’t.  Wow.  I know that the substitute teacher in Lily’s class was trying to be helpful, but telling working moms that your child is “acting out because she misses you” doesn’t really help.  Especially when she says things like, “She’s such a perfect child for us - she must just miss you a lot” and “No, we never have issues with Lily yelling or crying.”  I did finally say, “Do other kids do this, or is it just mine?”  She looked shocked and said, “Oh yes, they ALL do it.”  Oh.  Okay.  For the past few months I was just assuming that Lily was lashing out at me because I’m a bad mom, not because it’s usual as part of the transition routine from teacher to parent.  Fabulous.

Sara came over on Saturday - she said she missed the girls.  She also insanely commented that being around them “relaxed her”.  Hmmmm.  We took them to the park and exchanged advice about work and life.  We even made Sara hang out while we fed the girls.  They were more annoyed that she had the audacity to leave and go back to her husband. . . they assume that anyone visiting our house must spend the night and entertain them. 

Steve is out of the hospital and home.  They were able to shock his heart and get his heartrate back in the 80s (instead of 160s - as in 160 beats per minute).  He is not sure when, or if, he’ll be able to work again.  I’m not sure when I’ll see him as I’m probably not Vicki’s favorite person these days, and even when I was, none of us were exactly welcomed into their house (apparently it’s a “mess” or a “hovel” or a “disaster” all of the time).  That situation is one that I can’t do anything about, and I’m really burned out trying to figure out a way around it Everyone has some part of their family that is dysfunctional - it’s just that it’s rare to hear anyone talking about it.  When I think about my close friends, they all have their stories.  I remember having dinner on Sara’s 30th birthday and one of the women who came along just blurted out that her mom, and entire family really, were pyschos and alcoholics, and how insane visiting them was.  Later I think she regretted saying it, but I really appreciated her honesty and her ability to laugh instead of cry about her family’s situation. 

On another topic entirely, I am watching the news and someone in North Carolina just came out with a caffeinated donut!  That’s so awesome!  Donuts are definitely my guilty pleasure, so I don’t indulge very often, but killing two birds with one stone is a fantastic idea.  I can eat a greasy, fried piece of dough and get my caffeine injection simultaneously.  I love America!