Dear Arden,
How can such a small, puny, white body contain so much feist?
This morning, while daddy lay sick in his bed, your heart was broken when George did not appear. And then the rages came. I am so sorry that I cannot control Public Television - and force Curious George to come on instead of Sesame Street. I am also sorry that I had to mess with your morning routine by getting you dressed BEFORE breakfast, instead of after. You screamed your head off through hair brushing. You nearly bit the end of the toothbrush off during teeth cleaning. More snot came out of your nose in a 10 minute period of time than an entire day of 3rd graders at school.
Unfortunately, my darling, I was late this morning. I hadn’t slept well. I had two nap mats, a laptop computer, a briefcase, a cell phone and a purse to carry. This meant I couldn’t carry you either. It also meant that I couldn’t, even though I knew I should have, stopped and held you until you calmed down. You let me know how you felt about being hurried along by letting loose the most ear-piercing, glass-shattering scream I’ve ever heard. It went on for a good 30 seconds. The garage door was still closed, so your voice bounced like a rabid racquetball off the concrete floors and walls. Lily covered her ears, looked at me with a pleading glance, and whispered, “Mommy, Arden is LOUD.”
In the car, I opened your granola bar for you. Mommy lets you eat in her car, which is why Mommy’s car looks like a garbage dump and Daddy’s still looks like it could be on the lot with a “gently used” sticker on the windshield. Then the real disaster came - the granola bar broke. In half.
For the 20 minute ride to school, you screamed, wailed, kicked the seat, and threw chunks of Nutri-Grain bar in my general direction. Lily sat in silence, fingers in ears, eating quietly. I turned up the music. I begged. At one red light, I think I might have turned into Satan and screamed at you to Please.Stop.Screaming. Because, you know, I always teach by example. By the time we got to school, you were beet red and exhausted.
Arden, I love you a ton - but honey, you have got to get it together. It’s my job as a mother to prepare you for a life that isn’t always going to give you exactly what you want, exactly when you want it. You are now 3 years old plus 4 months. I try to remember that you were given to me to teach me as well. I am learning how to stretch my patience beyond any limit I ever thought I could. I’ve been doing what others have told me. I try to ignore your tantrums and not feed into them. I try not to yell (sometimes I fail). I try not to get upset, or take it personally, when you rebuff me. I have tried to avoid kissing or hugging you when you don’t want it (but sometimes I kiss you anyway). So can we call a truce? I don’t want my mornings with you full of tears and rage. And I know that tonight when I pick you up, there will be another argument - this one possibly over you putting your coat on, or wanting to go to Chick-Fil-A for dinner and realizing that instead you will be eating my mediocre cooking. I am doing the best I know how. I surrender - white flag is up - and I will work harder on my patience.
In the meantime, I beg of you to channel that wonderful mind of yours, that great strong will of yours, into something positive. Like art. Or playing outside. Or reading, so that if you can’t allow me to love on you, you can read these words and know how much I DO love you - even when you are jamming your finger on my very last button.
What a morning! Such a great post…we have all been there my friend….be sure to save this for her!
She will appreciate it (even thought she doesn’t quite show it right now)
I can completely relate. Saskia was like this as a 2 and 3 year old. I would call my bff crying hysterically, screaming “WHY IS SHE LIKE THIS?!”
I can say it does get better. Saskia is now the quiet easy one. Starting around 4, she magically changed. I can only hope that the same magician casts his spell on Arden too. Until then, hang in there!
And remember, if they are difficult as toddlers they are easy as teenagers… or so I’ve heard!
LOL, I’d send her back in for a refund.
bad day, huh? i’m so impressed with your ability to channel your rage and put it into words that sound so positive and nurturing…can i call you carol bradey???!!! you ROCK!!
Change the name to Ryan and we are in the same damn boat. A sinking one and we’ve been thrown out because we’re making it sink faster (yes, that was in reference to MY fat ass). So glad to not be alone. There are days I’d rather eat glass then spend time with my screaming, inconsolable child who will not stop because I cannot fast forward through a commercial. You’d think life had ended. There’s times where I wish mine would - or at least have me be sent to a QUIET spa for some pampering without having to think of said child.
Glad to hear someone else’s monster got better after 4. Only 1 year and two weeks left. YAH! (That was meant to be sarcastic. I haven’t slept well lately and I hear screams still resonating in my ears, forgive me…)
LOL! Mornings…...bring on the afternoon PLEASE!
I wish I could laugh at you and says sucks to be you - but, oh hey, I’ve been there too. Sucks to be us! LOL
You’re doing everything right… it just takes time.
I feel ya Homey…. wish I had some golden advice to offer. I’m sorry to hear things are still difficult with her I truly hope that this phase of behavior will pass.
XO
I see what I have to look forward to, you see Arden and Liam are so similar that I can only imagine that this is what my future holds.
I feel your frustration, I only hope that she eventually learned to channel her feistiness for good instead of evil, it is what I hope for Liam too.
Homey, I feel your pain and your surrender. My son - just like that. The fits over putting on his coat, of so familiar!
Tough it out, and hang on for the ride. We can be passengers together!
Awwww! I have to admit I am laughing…but am nodding my head at the same time. My strong willed 3 yr old has this SAME behavior. Sure does make your blood pressure rise, huh?!!?
OMG Homey! This is the best! First of all…I share your pain because I too have a strong-willed, feisty little one, but at the same time I cannot stop howling with laughter right now! This is TOO hilarious…yet I too know how just UN-funny this can be!
My child is also traumatized by the granola bar breaking…it’s as if her world has ended.
I hope your evening goes much better than your morning!:)
LOL….we all have mornings like this I think.
Funny…from a distance!
My heart goes out to you. Really, my gosh, how does she not have a splitting headache after all that? Oh yah, she’s young.
Holy Crap!
You have one too??? I thought I was the only one having to deal with this madness…
It’s not me then? I’m not a horrible incapable mother who deserves to be screamed at, spat on and generally abused by a three year old?
Belly up to the bar baby…let me buy you a drink…
Im so sorry! I know she loves you and you love her….at least she isnt a teenager yet!! *weak grin*
I feel your pain. I have one too. We should put them in a room together and take bets on which one can scream loudest.
WOW! What a great journal entry!! I hope you two can call a truce soon. It’s a horrible way to start your mornings like that or end your tired days that way.
People always talk about the “Terrible Twos”. Sometimes I wonder, where were they when the kids were three!! Someone snuck in after my DD’s third birthday & switched her with an unruly demon!! Thank goodness they switched her back when they returned for the next one’s third birthday. I feel for you.
awww girl! I feel your pain!! Mommies have it pretty bad! hope tomorrow goes better..
I’m so sorry, Homey. What a horrible morning. We all wish our girls to be strong and willful; we forgot to mention that it shouldn’t be directed at US.
Oh I loved it…any mother can relate. I do agree that 3’s are WAY worse then 2’s. I feel your pain, the entry was entertaining to read though!
Loved it. Fond memories of 3 years of age.
LOL! You are so witty!! Way to make this lovely situation (which we have ALL regretably been through too many times) into a great read :D
Is this what I have to look forward to? I’m frightened. Hold me?
I can relate for sure, Brooklynn is just like me LOL but i wouldn’t want a different temperament for her at all.
BTW I love the name Arden, so pretty and lady like.
Hun, been there. I can relate. My Charlie was the worse. At this age they think Mommies rule the world. Take a long bath..prop up your feet, relax…Tomorrow is another day..praying it is much easier than this morning..You ROCK!! HUGS AND MORE HUGS< SISSY
Were you at my house this morning?
Oh, sounds like my mornings sometimes too!
Only every day when Sam gets in the car, “Are we going to Chuck E. Cheese? I wanna go to Chuck E. Cheese!!!!” Geesh, we haven’t been there in MONTHS and he wants to go. Every.Day.
Hope tomorrow is better!
Im sorry! But this is one funny post! My dd is 2, and where she gets her lung capacity is beyond me.
My minivan too, looks like a garbage dump, and it smells funny? I really believe that if I took the time to clean it out, Id probably find a dead animal in there somewhere.
Great post!!
Holy Crap! Amazing what a pint size little girl can do. Hope you both have some breathing room. Yeegads! I’m scared for you! lol
So poignant. You definitely made me laugh and hit a few buttons with how I often times feel. Thanks for such an entertaining and witty journal! I think our little girls could be best friends . . . so many similar toddler qualities!
Homey, this is great! I can relate…my youngest used to be the ‘bulldog’....and if you asked her name, she would tell you “Bulldog”. She wore the badge with honor and prestige.
The good news is they grow out of (most) of it….eventually. There is bad news, but I think you already know what that is….
Hang in there girlie….ITS WORTH IT!
First of all, Noah is lucky he can’t read yet because he so far has no idea what the future holds for him.
Secondly, awwww Homey. What a rough morning! I can only sit here and sympathize (and giggle just a little bit) as I read this. I have to say that I really admire your attitude through it all—“you were given to me to teach me as well.” You are way more understanding than a lot of people I know. I can see how she pushes your buttons but the fact that you can maintain this attitude despite it all is truly amazing. Poor Homey and poor Arden. I hope she outgrows the crazy tantrums (or at least the yelling part of it) soon.
LOL..Awesome journal entry! I feel your pain..the diffrence being mine’s 15, lol….It does get better..she is just strong willed. Aren’t they all? Thanks for sharing!
Hold on to this letter. She will love to read it when she is grown and has a feisty child of her own. Hang in there sweetie - it sounds like you have your hands full but that you are doing a great job!
YOU, are hilarious. To be able to take a situation which should really be a vent, and turn it into this amazing prose…..well….you seem quite level headed to me.
I can’t WAIT until my dd turns 3…sounds like SUCH fun!!!
Yep! She’s definitely 3! Why are we only warned about the terrible two’s when 3 is so much worse?