It’s no secret that the last few years have been full of turmoil, strife, chaos or whatever adjective you find fits the sentence best. Many times I wondered if I was growing up or just regressing, mixing big mistakes with strategic luck and hoping the end result was also the right one.
One thing I constantly try to remember is that there is no end point to life, other than the obvious one (death). In other words, I’ve heard people talk about how they are glad the bad times are over for me – but in actuality, there is no end to bad times just as there is no end to good ones. It’s just life, and it swings back and forth, and when we’re really lucky, life hangs in the balance between bad and good and we hold steady for a bit.
Yes, life has settled down and isn’t bouncing from one disaster to the next. Running Boy’s life is settling down too. We had big news yesterday and it was, in general, all positive for him and his children. It also means he can move forward in his life and put much of what has happened behind him, where it belongs. Much as we’d like to say we can move forward regardless what happens around us, it’s a lot easier to do so when you aren’t constantly reminded or stressed by the things or people from which you are trying to move forward.
It also felt good for both of us to remember that we can have faith in justice, and that there is still some fairness in the world. All too often it seems that people can do really bad things to others without paying the price. I’ve rarely gotten away with anything without paying a hefty fee, so it always struck me as odd that so many others seemed to skate while I was serving time in some sort of emotional jail. In this case, there are no winners – in divorce, there never are. What he got was simply validation from the court system, more time with his children and the ability to stay in business for himself without losing everything he’s worked for 15 years to build. I’d say that’s fair.
Yesterday was a celebration. It doesn’t really matter now how things shake out or how long it takes. The uncertainty we’ve both lived under for the past year is over and now it’s a matter of wrapping up all the loose ends. It is my personal hope that having a definitive decision on many of the issues that tore his family apart will cut down on the amount of stress and anger they’ve dealt with.
In the meantime, I got an awesome early Christmas present in the form of some peace, and I’m going to savor it as long as I can.
