Interesting. Today was my first day as “white trash mama”. I hate going to Walmart, but you know, you can’t beat the prices. Lily was in fine and rare form today - she had a temper tantrum the minute I put her in the cart. So I dragged her around the store, sweating and panting because it’s so hot in there and she’s so heavy. I finally got her into the cart (mom distracted her) and then she saw the keys - the car keys. She had to have them. I took them away, she screamed, kicked, and turned red. It’s that terrible “silent scream” - you know it’s going to be bad when all you see is the open mouth and the beet-red cheeks. I finally gave in and let her suck on the keys. She smelled like a big piece of metal by the time all was said and done. She had another temper tantrum in the line to check out. Time slows down when your kid is screaming - everyone starts moving in slow motion for some reason. And staring, too. All I needed to fit in with the Walmart crowd was some holes in my sweatpants and a threat to abuse the child (“I’m gonna whup yer butt if you don’t shut your cakehole right now!”) and a pudding-smeared child from lunch. It’s days like this where I feel so ultra-glamorous it’s not even funny. No makeup, at least I’m showered, hair half done, whatever was on the floor is now on my body - yes, being a mommy sure makes you feel sexy.