Merry Christmas and Happy Holidays . . . we finally sent out our Christmas cards on Monday so you should all be getting yours soon. Jennifer took some magnificent pictures of the girls, but unfortunately one roll of film was double exposed (it actually looked really artsy and weird, in a cool way). Do you know how difficult it is to get a two year old and a 10 week old to smile simultaneously? I’m sure you do.

The holiday melee is about to ensure, but we wish you all the best this season and we will be posting more pictures after Christmas, assuming we survive it with the two kiddies. Today is Lily’s Christmas party at her daycare, so I dressed her in her holiday finery and we are going to visit her at 3 to celebrate. I’m provided a pre-chopped fruit platter from Ukrops - no time to cut up anything, let alone 4 pounds of fruit! I’m such the Martha Stewart of Richmond, aren’t I?

Hello there - it’s been a hellish day in motherhood land. However, there is some comic relief. I was commiserating with my close friend Susan in Charlotte, NC, about trying to take Christmas pics of the children. She was telling me that it was a hellish experience for her and she was so fed up with the process (they had taken over 60 digital pictures and still have nothing to show for it) that she was going to send the sample photographs of someone’s kids they put in frames to everyone instead of her own children. I didn’t believe her - how bad could they be? So she proved it by sending me some of her favorites. The first email came to me entitled: “My drooling mound of meatloaf”. For some background, her baby boy Colin is one pound lighter than my 2 year old. Then, she sent me some of her best efforts at capturing the moment. For any of you with kids, you will appreciate the effort and the struggle of creating photographic magic and ending up with these. By the time you get to picture three, I’m sure Susan’s face looked similar to Jenna’s.

Mike laughed so hard at these pictures he both cried and nearly wet himself, and we both needed a laugh. I’ll be sure to spread the horror around: when my pictures are developed, I will make sure to post some of the best and worst ones we received. I have no problem laughing at myself, or my children, for that matter. Lily was not very cooperative today so I am hoping against all hope that one of the pictures (out of three rolls of film) turns out and you will all be receiving it in your holiday cards this year. Festivus for the Rest-uv-us! Down with traditional Christmas cards. Hey, if none of them turn out, I’ll just send out the funny ones.

December 2, 2004

It’s been many moons since my last posting. In between, I’ve been occupied with traumatizing Lily with daycare and trying to find temporary care for Arden while my mother has back surgery and lots of fun physical therapy after.

Lily didn’t do so well her first couple of days at Tuckaway . . . crying, calling for mommy and daddy, not eating, lying on the floor while the other kids ate, and sitting in a chair all day staring out the window. If that’s not enough to make you want to quit your job or kill yourself, nothing is. As if mothers don’t have enough guilt on them regularly, taking your 2 year old to their first “preschool” experience heaps on an extra helping at no charge.

Arden stayed with mom and dad this week while I tried to work. Working after 6 weeks of being with kids and receiving minimal sleep lowered my IQ, and self-confidence, quite a few points. I floundered around through the three days and managed to bill more than I spent on childcare, so that’s a bonus. I’m hopeful that within the next couple of weeks the blood flow to my brain will start up again and I will remember what it is I do for a living. In the meantime, woe to the person who hires me for anything strategic. I may have to give them the “Post Partum Discount” on the usual hourly rate.

Here’s a cute picture my parents took of Arden . . . she’s growing. At least one of them is. Lily is officially off the charts (in the negative, downward direction) for weight. At 2 years old, she’s barely 20 lbs. We have to take her for some “just in case” blood and urine tests. I’m thrilled to be subjecting her to blood tests at 2 years old. At least I was 5 or 6 before I was introduced to my needle phobia. In the meantime, some friends of ours who have spent many hours (and lots of $$$) at the Children’s Hospital feeding clinic gave us some good pointers for bulking up Lily. I wish I could give her some of my fat. That would be great.

Just a quick note - today we took Lily to her day care place. She will be starting on the 29th and we wanted her to meet her class mates and get used to the idea. My child communicates fairly well, and out of all the phrases she can say, she chose a prime one as way of introduction to the director. On her way out the door, she told her “Have boogers - MAMA GIT!” Great. Now the director knows that I call her nasal stuffiness boogers, and that I am always cleaning her nose out. Fabulous.

On a happier, less embarassing note, she seemed to like it there, although we didn’t try to leave. The kids seemed happy and fairly well adjusted and one of her soon-to-be classmates grabbed her hand and began to drag her around the room, showing her all the toys. Arden was the real hit of the day - all the two year olds loved her and kept trying to touch her. I must have heard “Look with your eyes and not with your hands” 20 times. Kids Lily’s age seem fascinated by babies. I guess they are the only thing smaller than themselves.

Grandpa recently thought Lily needed a little special attention, so he took her to a local Chesterfield County Fire Department and the very nice firemen there let her play in the truck (after disconnecting power to the switches and buttons, thank goodness). Here are a couple of pictures from her outing at the end of today’s post.

The pediatrician told me today that an infant’s peak of crabbiness is around 6 weeks, and Arden sure is peaking - we hope. She basically cries anytime we put her down. If I were a first time mother, all of you out there could say it’s because we WANT to hold her all the time. But I’m not, and I’d give anything to put her down. As I write this, she’s in the car seat next to me screaming her head off. This is after half hour of me trying everything to get her to stop, including rocking, swinging, pacifier, begging, pleading, cajoling, and asking her why she is crying (picture me saying “Arden, what is WRONG??? TELL ME!!!” to a 5 week old baby!). If I close my eyes and concentrate, I can almost imagine I’m at a heavy metal concert listening to someone screaming the lyrics to a really angry song. Then I come back to reality and realize it’s just Arden exercising her lungs. I thought second babies were always laid back? She’s not that laid back, but she’s sweet, as all babies are, and I’m trying to tell myself that this too shall pass. Right now it seems like if one of them isn’t screaming, the other is. Earplugs, anyone?

We got a new mattress today, however, and that’s exciting. Now I REALLY won’t want to get out of bed. Our old mattress could have been featured on the Flintstones - made of bedrock. It really was like sleeping on the ground only without the sticks and stones in your back. We finally decided we were getting older and needed back support and forked out for a real honest-to-god bed with a lifetime warranty. I can’t wait to get in there tonight. If only I could hire a wet nurse for a couple of nights . . .