Well, the good news is that our furnace is fixed downstairs. I am now sitting in what feels like a balmy 68 degrees. Even Lily told me she was happy not to be frozen anymore. Turns out that some piece of “trash” got caught in the vacuum line (whatever that means) and it was preventing the unit from blowing out hot air.

The technician also gave us some bad news - news we had already heard from someone else. The idiots who built the house used plastic PVC piping to exhaust the furnace - and that plastic is now degrading and cracking, leaking carbon monoxide. Apparently it needs to be replaced, sooner rather than later. That costs between $800-$1000. Additionally our home inspector “should” have caught it. The realtor we used told me that the inspector is only liable for the cost of the home inspection unless you want to attempt to sue them - which he says is more headache than it’s worth. I told him to call the guy anyway. When we had our A/C unit serviced this summer they told us the same thing about the pipe but they were nice enough to tape up the parts that were looking bad. We have a carbon monoxide dectector in the house so I’m fairly certain we won’t die and the house won’t blow up - at least not yet. I told mom today that I hated this house. Hate is a strong word. I don’t really hate it - I just think it’s crappy that the newer construction is so poorly done. Like when Steve knocked out a piece of drywall to tile our kitchen and realized that there was nothing in between the drywall and the exterior siding - nothing - including insulation of any kind. I mean, how sloppy/lazy can you get??? And how would you, the homeowner, ever know that your walls have no insulation? Oh right - the $368 gas bill might be an indication.

Anyway, I went to Cosco today with mom and dad and I picked up a nice electric heater which right now is a lot less expensive to run in our colder rooms than turning up the heat. After the gas bill we got, we’ll be turning the heat down to 65 every night. Sometimes I feel like the only reason I work is to pay for daycare and the latest disaster - like car maintenance.

I saw Memoirs of a Geisha. Despite the bad reviews Risa said it got, I liked it a lot, and I don’t think they glamorized or made the love story in it too over the top. It was fairly disturbing and depressing. I told Lily that if she didn’t shape up I was going to sell her to a Geisha house. Just kidding, everyone.

Actually it’s closer to 52 downstairs. Our furnace has been out since sometime Saturday. I hate our Home Warranty company. When I am less irritable I will write them a letter expressing my dissatisfaction, not that it will do any good. Ironically our gas fireplace which kicks out a good amount of heat stopped working around the same time, so we really have no heat down there. The girls have handled their meals okay. Lily occasionally comments, “Mama, I’m freezing!” She doesn’t understand why I keep making her dress in layers.

Theoretically someone should be out today to fix the problem. If it ends up going into tomorrow, Mike will have to stay home and wait for them because I’ll be in DC. I leave at 6 in the morning (argh . . . ).

We had a nice weekend despite the heat issue and Mike working on Saturday. We had a birthday party at the Children’s Museum. Mom and Arden went too and had a lot of fun. After we let the girls play in the museum and then met up with Grampa for lunch. Lily got her grandparent fix for the week and was in a much better mood. She was alternately cantankerous and loving over the weekend. I’ve found the key to getting her to nap is napping with her. I try to stay awake long enough for her to fall asleep and me to make my escape, but normally I end up sawing logs right along with her. Speaking of snoring, I tried those “Breathe-Right” strips and they definitely help. Lily was cracking up this morning looking at me - when you have them on, you tend to have this wild-eyed nostrils-permanently-flared animal look, which she thought was funny. Mike was laughing less since my snoring didn’t keep him awake as usual. He suggested I give Lily some as well because she snores louder than the two of us put together.

Lily asked me tonight, “Mama, are those your new pajamas?” I was pulling them out of the drawer, and yes, they were the pajamas that Mike had gotten me for Christmas. I told her they were. She said, “I’d really like pajamas like that. In red. They would be very nice for me.” She’s a nutcase. She told me later that she was going to wear them because, in her words, “Mama, you will be small soon and I will be big so I’ll go in your room and put them on and you can wear my jammies.” Okay. At least she has faith in my ability to lose weight.

Arden and Lily went to dinner with us and the grand parents. Both were well-behaved except for a small minor temper tantrum from Lily at the beginning. She got it together and settled down. She was happy to see them and told me this morning that she needed Grammy to “hold her” as soon as she picked her up from school. Grammy hated hearing that.

Arden now knows three words - “Dada”, which she says less frequently now that she has learned word #2 “Mama”, and “Uh-oh”. Usually she says Mama for anything she wants - it has nothing to do with me, but I like to think it does.

I heard from my elementary/junior high/high school friend Allison recently. I was just bemoaning the fact to Mike that I felt sad that I no connection to anyone from my TC years. They were so miserable that for a long time I was glad of that, but as I got older, I felt like there was something missing. I was able to track her down through another friend from school. I might even get to see her when I’m in Denver in June for the AAM conference. She told me some sad stuff about people I used to know, and some good stuff as well. Just hearing from her brought back a flood of memories, nostalgia, and frankly, relief that it was all over, we had both survived, and were doing well on the other side of puberty and college.

I finally got around to downloading these off the digital camera. You can tell that Lily and Arden love their auntie and their uncle . . . frankly, I don’t know who is goofier. I think Voz might actually be crazier than Lily but it’s close. Arden and Christine have a special relationship. It could be that Arden looks more like Christine’s daughter than mine. I’m still not sure how I gave birth to two girls who couldn’t look more different, but I’m pretty sure they really are mine.

Today in between a trip to the Children’s Museum and a lot of temper tantrums at home from both girls, Lily announced, “Arden smells like poo. Daddy, change her!” She’s reached the stage where she knows immediately when someone has pooped and what to do about it. Now if I could just teach her how to change a diaper, I’d be set for life.

In an effort to be educational and proactive parents we took both girls to the Children’s Museum. This included interrupting Arden’s usual nap schedule. Like her father, she doesn’t do well with change - she was pretty cranky this afternoon. However, both girls love going there and Arden expended thousands of calories as she motored all over the museum and Lily ran from one exhibit to the next. I tried not to obsess about how often each of them put their fingers in their mouths (especially Arden, who had been crawling across the floor for an hour) and focus on the fun we were having.

When we got home, I was tired. The girls were tired, too. Arden took a short nap and Lily should have, but didn’t. When Arden woke up, both of them were acting terribly. Lily is in a phase now where temper tantrums come with a lot of leg kicking and arm flailing - and sometimes she’s fast enough to make contact with some part of my body, which just further infuriates me and saps any remnant of patience I may have at that point. Mike had told Lily we were going out for dinner, but she was so wired, and Arden was so crabby (for example, any time we tried to put her down, she threw herself face-first on the floor and screamed while kicking her feet) he decided that going out would not be wise. This brought on another temper tantrum from Lily. At this point, it was around 5 pm. I wondered how we were ever going to get to bedtime and I also felt an intense emotion - a combination of boredom and yes, I can say it - despair.

I know all parents go through this occasionally. How can you not? It seems like there is never a night where sleep isn’t interrupted by something (yes, Mike, I know that sometimes my snoring is what keeps us up!). Lily went from the terrible twos to the physical threes. Arden is coming into her own personality. That has good and bad points. Someone in the family is always sick from whatever the virus of the week at daycare is. It just gets old after a while. It’s tiring and sometimes it feels entirely unrewarding. When you are younger, or without children, you never think that you’d be selfish enough to say, “At times, I feel completely unfulfilled by parenting.” But it’s true. Today was one of those days. I get tired of arguing about going “peepee on the potty” with Lily. I feel like there is always 42 pounds of laundry waiting for me. I am sick of smelling the diaper genie in Arden’s room. Even the dog was bumming me out today . . .after Lily announced, “I smell Delilah’s breath - it’s YUCKY!” No kidding.

These days are always offset by intense moments of loving my children beyond human belief and the pure, unadulterated joy of watching them grow, learn, and stretch their boundaries. Those days are the ones I try to focus on, while erasing the long days of drudgery. Let’s face it. Nothing worthwhile is ever entirely scintillating.