Eh, I haven’t done a Meme in a while, and since I am fighting either the worst allergies ever or a bad head cold, I’ll take the easy way out and blog this instead

1. Do you like blue cheese? Oh, yeah. On a burger, on a salad, and slathered on chicken wings. 

2. Have you ever smoked heroin? That would be a emphatic NO.

3. Do you own a gun? Nope. I use my sarcasm to kill.

4. What flavor do you add to your drink at Sonic? I don’t go to Sonic. My dad says I should though.

5. Do you get nervous before doctor appointments? Depends on the appointment. I have one tomorrow that I’m nervous about. If it involves cancer screens or my girly parts, I do get nervous.

6. What do you think of hot dogs? Delicious fatty non-nutritional meat! Bring it on!

7. Favorite Christmas movie? The Year Without A Santa Claus.  The Heat Miser rocks.

8. What do you prefer to drink in the morning? A Slimfast on the way to the gym, if I drink at all.

9. Can you do push ups? Yeah, from the plank position. I can’t do them the way “real men” do them. 

10. What’s your favorite piece of jewelry? Definitely my wedding ring.  Ooooh, sparkly. 

11.  (Original #11 omitted so I get to make up the question) What food can you not stand to look at?  Creamed corn.  BLAGGGGGGGGHHHHH.

12. Do you have A.D.D.? What was the question?

13. What’s one trait you hate about yourself? Personality-wise?  I’m easily riled.  Physically - my wide child-bearing hips. I’m done having children - please go back to a smaller width!!!

14. Middle name? Freak

15. Name 3 thoughts at this exact moment: 1.  I need something to scrape the phlegm out of my throat - is there such a thing as a phlegm scraper?  2.  Oh god, Delilah is sitting. I hope she doesn’t leak any more anal fluid on the carpet because I am out of steam cleaner formula.  3.  Why won’t my child stop bumping around up there and SLEEP, DAMMIT???

16. Name 3 things you bought yesterday: Nothing! I SPENT $0 yesterday!  Write it down in the history books.

17. Name 4 drinks you regularly drink? Water, unsweetened iced tea, Starbucks whatever, Fresca.

18. Current worry? Business finance stuff. 

19. Current hate right now? Arden’s temper tantrums.

20. Favorite place to be? In the sunroom, alone with good music and a book. In my fantasy life, my favorite place is at the spa, being rubbed with hot stones.

21. What did you do for New Years? Um, I seriously can’t remember.  I think Mike may have been sick this year and I watched tv with my parents.  Wow.  I live an exciting life.

22. Where would you like to go? Greece or Hawa’ii, with my husband.

23. Name two people who will complete this? I think I’m the last of my memeing friends to complete it, so probably no one.

24. Do you own slippers? Yep. 

25. What shirt are you wearing ? An old lime green tee. 

26. Do you like sleeping on satin sheets? No.  Too slippery. 

27. Can you whistle? Yes, wanna hear it?

28. Favorite color? Dark purple. 

29. Would you be a pirate? Yeah, I guess - it’s better than being the beer wench, right?

30. What songs do you sing in the shower? Whatever bad FM radio song I woke up to and got stuck in my head.  This morning it was that dreadful Billy Ocean. 

31. Favorite girl’s name? Changes all the time.  I love Iris, but I couldn’t have had a Lily AND an Iris without looking like a dork.  I still like Adriana.  And Amalia. 

32. Favorite boy’s name? Declan & Asher.

33. What’s in your pocket right now? No pockets.  They add girth to my already girthy form.

34. Last thing that made you laugh? Jules and her peanut butter post. 

35. Best bed sheets as a child? I can’t remember any of my bed sheets. I am still bitter that I was never allowed to have a canopy bed, and all of my anger has erased my childhood sheet memories.

36. Worst injury you’ve ever had? Fell 20+ feet out of a tree and broke some of the junk in my neck. Thankfully I lived to tell the tale.

37. Do you love where you live? Not really.  When I don’t travel much, I forget how much I don’t want to live in the Southeast.  But when I leave here, and see how the other 3/4 of the universe lives, I get a little sad.  Did I mention that I hate living in the pollen center of the world???

38. How many TVs do you have in your house? God, I hate this question.  Five.

39. Who is your loudest friend? I’ve been sitting here for 5 minutes thinking. I think this means that I am the loudest of my friends.  And that saddens me. 

40. How many dogs do you have? One, on her last legs.  Poor Delilah.

41. Does someone have a crush on you? Alas, no. 

42. What is your favorite book? The Unbearable Lightness of Being by Milan Kundera, tied with Their Eyes Were Watching God by Zora Neale Hurston.

43. What is your favorite candy? Baby Ruth. 

44. Favorite Sports Team? Detroit Red Wings.

45. What song do you want played at your funeral? My Way by Sinatra. 

46. What were you doing at 12 AM ? Running upstairs to escape Mike’s snoring. 

47. What was the first thing you thought of when you woke up? Why am I awake at 5?  God, please make it stop!

I’m writing from the center of the Universe, Norfolk, Virginia.  My flight was delayed an hour, which will cause me to miss my connection in Dallas. No fear, I’ve been rebooked on a later flight and will eventually make my way to Amanda.  Risa is also going to attempt to meet me at the airport in Dallas so I can at least hug her and possibly one or more of the kids.  She loves it when I hug her and get in her personal space. 

I tried not to get all panicky and annoyed.  It does irritate me that on one of the only vacations I’d had since Lily was born, something gets messed up, but as long as I get there, I’m going to enjoy the free booze on the flight and send a lot of drunken text messages. 

Tomorrow at 10 AM EST I hit the road for the Norfolk airport.  It’s finally here - my big VACATION sans husband and children!!!  I feel horribly guilty that so many people are having to pitch in and help but I’m trying to get over it.  Another friend who is going was having horrible guilt issues, and I told her, “Get your ass off the guilt training and put your butt on the AIRPLANE.”  I should take my own advice.  Mom and Dad are watching the girls tomorrow and Thursday, Lily’s teacher from last year, the Fabulous Ms. Diana, is watching them Friday, and Mike is taking off work on Monday to enable the full 3 Day Beat Up on Daddy camp.  Good luck, all . . . Arden’s in a fine phase right now!!! NOT!

I’m excited. Nervous, too. I got a taste of how weird it can be to meet people you’ve been talking to for a year online in person.  It’s really good, but it’s really frightening/exciting too.  The people who are going to Vegas are a pretty tight-knit group of women, and we all know A LOT more about each other than we probably should.  I’m fairly certain we will all get along, but I still worry that I’ll be annoying and weird, or I’ll fart uncontrollaby, or laugh so hard I spit rum and Coke out my nose.  It’s happened, you know.  It’s like high school again - the wringing of hands over “Will they like me? Am I COOL ENOUGH??? What the HECK do I WEAR???”  Thankfully I know that they are all going through the same set of anxieties.

I also had an incredibly taxing day today. Mike threatened Arden with not going to Little Gym tonight if she had a repeat of yesterday (a hint about yesterday:  I post a talk on Maya’s Mom entitled: “3 1/2 year old for sale - includes clothing, toys, and bedding”).  There were ELEVEN tantrums yesterday.  Unfortunately I had to go to the Post Office. Yes, only me would end up with two kids at the Post Office on APRIL 15.  TAX DAY.  Lines out the door. I had to pick up a package. It took nearly 40 minutes.  After the first well-behaved 15 minutes, Arden started literally bouncing off the walls (she was throwing herself against the wall while giggling maniacally), while Lily spun in circles belting out “Ring Around The Rosey” over and over AND OVER again.  Then they started pulling up their shirts and showing the line of people their bellies (and nipples), and Arden decided to scream “NO” at me and tell me “It’s NONE OF YOUR BUSINESS MAMA!” when I asked them to use their inside voices.  Yes, that phrase was used incorrectly, but it’s entirely frustrating when you can’t scream “Don’t talk that way to me, you little creepy crud!” because so many people are watching you.  Anyway, it wasn’t their fault, but I felt fried by the time we left there.  Add to that a short nap, then swim lessons, then a trip to the library (which include much more hissing on my part of “INSIDE VOICES!  STOP JUMPING ON THAT BENCH! YOU ARE NOT GOING TO LITTLE GYM!”), the drive-thru at McDonald’s, eating in 15 minutes, then gymnastics, and I am very tired. 

So in about 12 hours from now, I’ll be hitting the road to Norfolk! I wish those of you who are watching my children the best of luck, and please don’t call me when they explode, break something, or scream NO at you. 

It’s been a busy 24 hours.  Cristin came up from Durham and spent some quality time with the girls (and managed to sneak in some education too - she never removes her third grade teacher hat).  We had dinner and she played non-stop with the girls.  They love her so much.  Lily cried when Cristin drove away today. Arden mercifully was napping, so I didn’t have to watch her try to cling to Cristin and beg her not to leave.  Cristin did a fun art project with them this morning - they made suncatchers out of buttons, scraps of tissue paper, and clear Con-Tac paper.  She’s such a nerd. I love her.

Then, some friends from Maya’s Mom came to Richmod.  Kendra’s leaving for Italy next week for 3 years (her husband’s in the Navy).  Jo lives in a teeny-tiny town in WV, but very near the VA border, so we all met in Richmond to meet formally.  Unfortunately, Kendra got seriously lost around all the construction in Short Pump, so she missed out on some of the Jo time.  Jo looks like a model - she’s beautiful.  Kendra is hispanic, like me, and is also gorgeous.  She has beautiful hair and skin.  She’s also super nice.  We got caught up on the kids, who was doing what, and Jo and Kendra both filled me in on what to expect during the teen years.  Hopefully I can be as good a mom as they have been and be lucky enough to have well-behaved kids like theirs!!!!

I’m posting some photos from lunch.  I also know that I have some weight to lose, but good god, I looked horrible today. And that was even with makeup and doing my hair!!!!

Here we are outside of the restaurant.  Jo, Kendra, Me. 

We annoyed the waitress by asking her to take our picture together:

And acted like geeks with our cameras:

It was so great to meet them in person.  I wish they both lived closer.  Or actually, I wish I lived in Italy.  But I can’t.  Sigh.

On a totally separate note, I took some pictures of Lily’s latest artwork.  They are so darn cute.  They melt my heart.

And one that includes Delilah in the upper right hand sector:

I am halfway through week 3 of WAHM/SAHM.  The fact that I am still aware of how long it has been scares me a bit, but I like to mark time.  It makes me feel like I’ve accomplished something. 

Just like everyone said, some days are better than others.  Some mornings my reserve of patience and kindness is blown by 10AM - other days I am still giggling when Mike gets home.  Some days I bribe my children to get them to behave - other days they just do it. 

I love lists - so here’s my list for the week:

THE BAD

1.  Yesterday as I was carrying a basket of laundry during nap time, I actually was overcome with grief that this was my life.  I know that I will eventually find meaning and motivation in my daily tasks, but right now I am still mourning the loss of my business head.  I shook it off and continued on with whatever needed to be done, and actually cleaned the living room before allowing myself to sit down.  Lots of women tell me that they get all of their satisfaction and fulfillment from raising their children.  Am I insane?  Why can’t I be like them?  Don’t get me wrong, I do get a lot out of being home with them - that’s in part II of my list.  Currently I chalk up my inadequacy at fulfillment to transition.  I’m not 100% there yet because I’m not used to it.  In the meantime, I go through the routine of the days - getting the girls ready, going to the Y, showering, random errands, lunch, naptime, something fun for the girls, dinner prep, eating. 

2.  Arden is still very much transitioning to being home with me.  We had lunch with Miss Christine the other day. On the way back to drop her off, Arden got very quiet and subdued, and told us that she wanted Christine to stay with us all of the time. She is very attached to her teachers - she still frequently demands a visit with Windsor - and being away from them is hard on her.  It breaks my heart when I see how much she misses them, and preschool, but then again, my heart was broken when she used to beg me to stay home.  Sometimes being a mom just sucks - nothing you do is ever 100% right.  Her tantrums have been going up - as many as 4 a day, which might not seem like much, but then again, you haven’t been around Arden when she’s raging.  Today we’ve had one and I’m hoping that is it. 

3.  I miss making money. It’s not like I made a lot over the past year, but getting that check and knowing I earned it made me feel good.  Being totally reliant on Mike’s income is weird for me. I’ve been working since I was 12 - even though at that age, it was just for my parents. 

4.  Although I’m “enjoying” cooking, I can’t tell you how ultra-annoying it is to have the girls turn their noses up at EVERYTHING I put in front of them.  I know this is payback for how evil I was to my mother’s cooking growing up, and believe me, I apologize every night silently to her.  But when will this punishment end?  at 16?  18?  I may lose it if I bust my butt another night trying to squeeze in a nutritionally-balanced meal between swimming lessons and play dates, and they tell me they don’t like it before even seeing it on the plate.  At this pace, we’re going to be back on Spaghettios and Mac n Cheese very soon.

5.  I am SO tired all the time.  I don’t know if it’s the working out or the constant frenetic pace at which I seem to move through the days, but man, I AM TIRED.  Naptime is too precious for me to waste it sleeping, but I am hoping this is also a transition.  Will I get used to this?  All I want to do is SLEEP!!!

6.  Trying to take work-related calls while the girls are beating each other in the backseat or the family room is really, really difficult. 

THE GOOD

1.  It’s 1:40 PM, and I’m sitting in absolute silence, listening to the waterfall in the backyard.  I used to come home occasionally when I worked, and I never wanted to leave my house.  I’m enjoying being able to do some things I haven’t had time to do, like blog in silence, or plant some flowers, or organize the kitchen. 

2.  Arden’s preschool is offering half day preschool next year. I am seriously considering signing Arden up for it - it’s fairly affordable and from 9-1 every day, or I could take her 2 or 3 days a week.

3.  My house is a bit more clean.  I’m anal enough where things like that matter to me. 

4.  Working out every day of the week is fabulous for me.  I’m sure it’s fab for my health as well, but emotionally, going and doing it consistently really helps my brain.  I had forgotten how much working out helps with depression and anxiety.  Today I was totally “in the zone” - I felt like screaming, “Yeah, my butt is fat, but I OWN YOU, YOU STUPID ELLIPTICAL MACHINE! You’re MINE!” 

5.  My work stress seems to be better.  Except when I try to talk on the phone around the girls (see number 6 above).  Then I just want to scream.

6.  Lily has always been loving.  Arden, however, liked to hold me at arm’s length. She is now getting closer to me and her love and hugs have made it all worthwhile.

A belated sorry to my friends and family I have been neglecting while adjusting to Cristina Version 36.1.  All of my energy has been spent trying to get in the swing of things without losing my balance.