HomeSlice

Dave and Beth were in Richmond from late Sunday night until early this afternoon, and we had an orgy of food and beer while they were here (in true Del Bueno/Kimler/Tom fashion).  Mom made her awesome flank steak on Tuesday night, and on Wednesday, after a day of insanity with the girls, we had dinner at Amici.  Sara’s husband Tim is the chef there, and he REALLY took care of us. I seriously can’t remember eating that much food ever.  He kept giving us complementary appetizers, salads, and desserts to try.  Of course we had to!  It was an amazing dinner and I felt so fortunate to know him.  Dave and Beth really enjoyed themselves as Italian is hard to come by in Hawaii. 

They bonded with the girls as well. Yesterday they took the girls to Target for a toy shopping spree.  The girls were almost peeing their pants with excitement when they got a Lite Brite and some other fun stuff, including two huge Care Bears.  Dave kept tormenting Arden by asking her, “Arden, can I hug the Care Bear?” She would squeal in mock fear and run like hell through the aisle at Target to get away from the Bear snatcher.  Beth had never met Arden, and Arden took a major shine to Auntie Beth.  She even kissed her without prompting. In Arden’s world, that’s a big, major deal.  She is fickle with her love.  Heck, she barely kisses me.  In fact today she broke my heart into a million pieces by informing me that she wants to go back to school. I said, “Do you want to visit your friends?” She said, “No, Mommy. I want to eat snack with them, go to the playground, do art, eat lunch, and nap with my friends.”  I said, “So you don’t want to stay home with me anymore?”  She calmly answered, “Well, you can pick me up and drop me off.”  Gee, thanks.  I’m so glad she loves having me home with her!!! She really does miss her friends and her teachers, and apparently I’ve done a sucky job getting any other stay at home moms to go on a playdate with me.  I swear, being a mom is literally one slam after another.  If you work, you get yelled at for “other people raising your kids for you”.  If you stay home, you get the whole “you aren’t socializing your kids properly.” Sheesh. 

Yesterday I registered Lily for Kindergarten.  I was proud of myself for being one of the only moms who had all of the paperwork necessary.  I flew through the registation process, then realized I was leaking saltwater from my eyes as I left the parking lot.  It just seems like a big milestone and while both Lily and I are ready for it, I’ll risk the cliche and say that the past 5 1/2 years have flown by.  It’s insane how fast it has gone. 

I continue to struggle with Arden and learning how to make her listen to me and be respectful.  She’s a handful, to say the least.  It’s so weird that one minute I can be ready to throw myself through a window from sheer frustration and then the next minute, I am melting because she is showing me momentary tenderness by stroking my face and telling me she loves me, or whispering, “Mamamamamamamama” at me in her soothing, “don’t hate me for being so cute” voice.  I’m hoping she magically gets better when she turns 4.

We had a little excitement when Dave and Beth were here - a huge turtle/tortoise (I don’t know the difference, but my dad says it was a tortoise) was in our front yard.  This thing was LARGE.  It looked like it should have been in a zoo.  It was so large that Arden kept screaming, “I WANNA RIDE IT, MOMMY!”  After Dave tried to pick it up and it hissed at him, we decided no one would be riding Mr. T.  I took som pictures - they are in my Flickr photo set along with a couple of pictures of Dave and Beth and our time with them.  If you can’t see the badge, click this link.

Most people who read my blog regularly know Jennifer, my business partner, and her husband Troy had a preemie more than 2 years ago.  Sophia is the bomb, and I love her tons.  You would never know that the spirited, stubborn, funny and beautiful little girl was born weighing 2 lbs 2 oz.  This year, Jennifer and her family are serving as the Ambassador Family for the March of Dimes Central Virginia Chapter. What that means is they get to do a lot of speaking about the March of Dimes and they are very committed to the mission of the March of Dimes. I have always been proud of Jennifer, but I am especially proud of all three Yeagers when I see how much they have given back to the March of Dimes.

Today was the annual walk - 4.2 miles through downtown Richmond.  We started by congregating in Monroe Park.  Monroe Park is right by the Landmark Theatre and VCU, and is also the unofficial gathering place for the homeless.  It was weird to be lining up to march at the same time as the homeless were lining up for a hot meal. I couldn’t help feeling a bit guilty. 

Soon after, Team Pinola (Sophia’s nickname in the NICU) gathered.  They were late because Bud, Jenn’s dad, was overly-challenged by the Baby Bjorn and needed a lot of help.

Jennifer spoke while Troy tried to contain the very sweet Sophia.  (This is when I started crying, on cue, as I do every year). 

Someone took our team picture, but it wasn’t me.  I’m posting the full slideshow below.  The March was good for me - always is.  In addition to marching my big butt around Richmond and getting some exercise, it always gives me perspective.  Right in front of us was a group of marchers. The front of their shirts said something like, “My Two Sons” and on the back, the names of the sons - and “in memory of”.  They were preemie twins that did not make it. I tried to remind myself how lucky I was to have two very healthy girls, even as Arden raged from mile marker 2 to 3.  By the time we were in the final stretch, she was having such a fit we had to load her and the stroller into a courtesy shuttle to get back to the car. She was done with the walk, the drizzle, and Sara’s jacket - which Sara donated kindly to help keep her warm.  She couldn’t get it “just so” over her body and that, my friends, equated the end of the world for Arden. 

Well, we almost made it! Maybe next year we can actually finish, Arden-willing.

See the full show:

My friend Alicia sent me a Laurie Berkner CD awhile back. The girls totally LOVE it.  Arden especially enjoys trying to sing along, all the while being corrected by Lily (“THAT’S NOT how you SING IT, ARDEN!”).  There’s a song on there called “I’m Not Perfect.”  It goes something like:

“We’re Not Perfect, No We’re Not . . .
We’re Not Perfect, But We’ve Got What We’ve Got . . .”

and so on.

So today Arden was feeling particularly sassy, and yelled back at Laurie, “Hey, LADY!!! We ARE perfect!”  I’m sure Laurie would approve of the sassy comment.

Arden and Lily take gymnastics together at the Little Gym.  They LOVE it. I can’t express the level of their love for it, so I decided to take some video.

The first is the “warm up”.  Basically it involves running the kids around in a big circle. Notice that Arden was not present in the beginning, but you’ll see her streak by on the last lap, then promptly run in the other direction. 

Second, Arden practicing her “sole hangs” on the p-bars:

And third, Lily doing a basket hang and something else I don’t know the name of:

Random moments . . .

First, Cathy brought this “dog” USB drive for Jae.  We all loved it.

Kristin, teaching us about shiva . . .

It’s 10.08 AM pacific time and I’m back in San Diego.  Our flight had no issues, unlike Jess’s flight . . . the baggage handler got a little crazy with the bags and threw one into the cargo hold a little too aggressively, and knocked a hole in the side of the plane.  Anyway, Amanda and I had a rockin’ 1 1/2 hours of sleep last night, so we’re, um, dragging today.  Hopefully when Ava goes to sleep we can too  

What to say about Vegas?  Here’s Vegas in some bullets:

- We did far less drinking than I thought we would
- There was only one “fight” between 10 women
- No one won “big” in Vegas, but many of us lost big. 
- I dropped my favorite earring into a toilet AFTER I peed, and I had to fish it out with my bare hands.  Can you say ewww?
- Amanda and I both snore, so we were perfectly paired and since we rarely slept, it wasn’t much of an issue.
- Once Cathy got over being quiet and weird, she teased everyone mercilessly about everything.  Especially me, because I asked her how to pronounce “Munoz” (tilda over the n).  Not because I DON’T KNOW, but because I wanted to know if the Americans had bastardized Mark’s last name . . .
- Kristin has a killer Minne-SEW-ta AXE-cent, and it was so nice not to be the one who “talks funny” for a change. 
- I was traumatized when Jess and Amanda told me I had a southern accent, but “not so much” in person.  AHHHHHHHHHH!!!! 
- I went to pick up a rock with chopsticks at Nobu, just to show off my mad skillz, and ended up dropping it into my Fuzzy Navel. Glass broke everywhere, my fancy dress was soaked with orange juice and schnapps, and one of the glass shards made my arm bleed.  Most people laughed at me.  Hard.  A few nice ones helped me clean up.  It was quite embarassing.
- Nobu has AMAZING food. 
- Sara did the walk of shame from our room.  She ended up passed out in bed with me (I’m so lucky, really!) in her cocktail dress. She walked back to her room the next morning with her bra and shoes in her hand. 
- I also got to take a nap with Jess!  She’s super cuddly. 
- One of the high points was Jae.  She showed up completely unexpectedly from Sydney, Australia on Saturday afternoon.  After picking up my mouth from the floor, we did a lot of hugging and screaming.
- Lisa dragged an entire 12 pack of Cheerwine to Vegas.  She managed not to have it explode in her suitcase.  Thanks Lisa!
- Joss and Sara drank a LOT of Sake at Nobu
- Kristin saw a frat boy who drank WAY too much on the street . . . he was puking blood and pissing himself.  Kristin kept yelling, “ohhhh, GROOOOOOOOSSS!  Someone should clean that up!” in her sweet accent.  I was surprised she didn’t whip out some Purell and rub the boy down. 
- Only in Vegas do you see a prostitution sting go down on the lobby of your hotel.  Awesome!
- GMALinda does NOT look like a grandma.  She’s quite hot.
- There are no clocks in Vegas.
- Do not stay at the Flamingo in Vegas. Ever.  It pretty much sucked.  Everything in the hotel was sort of broken, especially the customer service.  Screw you, FLAMINGO!
- I let everyone see me in a bathing suit.  Shocking.
- I almost crushed Cathy to death yesterday saying goodbye.  I also cried all over her. 
- Jae is super-beautiful.  I want to be Jae when I come back in a different life. 
- We only talked about our kids in short spurts.  Mostly we made fun of each other and laughed obnoxiously.
- My favorite quote from a random stranger: “Yeah, we ran off the front desk clerk.  Apparently “condensation” means “God hates you!” in Mexican.”
- Joss and Sara slapped a lot of our “bottoms” while in Vegas.
- And last, but not least, it is only a rumor that I got a “Thug Life” tattoo on my butt. 

No time for writing. I will be continuining to upload photos to the set as I add them . . . .

Oh, and by the way?  I broke my camera before I even landed in San Diego.  So I got a new one. And you can see it takes nice beautiful pictures. 

And last, I take HORRIBLE pictures.  I swear I’m not that ugly.

I’m writing from the center of the Universe, Norfolk, Virginia.  My flight was delayed an hour, which will cause me to miss my connection in Dallas. No fear, I’ve been rebooked on a later flight and will eventually make my way to Amanda.  Risa is also going to attempt to meet me at the airport in Dallas so I can at least hug her and possibly one or more of the kids.  She loves it when I hug her and get in her personal space. 

I tried not to get all panicky and annoyed.  It does irritate me that on one of the only vacations I’d had since Lily was born, something gets messed up, but as long as I get there, I’m going to enjoy the free booze on the flight and send a lot of drunken text messages. 

Tomorrow at 10 AM EST I hit the road for the Norfolk airport.  It’s finally here - my big VACATION sans husband and children!!!  I feel horribly guilty that so many people are having to pitch in and help but I’m trying to get over it.  Another friend who is going was having horrible guilt issues, and I told her, “Get your ass off the guilt training and put your butt on the AIRPLANE.”  I should take my own advice.  Mom and Dad are watching the girls tomorrow and Thursday, Lily’s teacher from last year, the Fabulous Ms. Diana, is watching them Friday, and Mike is taking off work on Monday to enable the full 3 Day Beat Up on Daddy camp.  Good luck, all . . . Arden’s in a fine phase right now!!! NOT!

I’m excited. Nervous, too. I got a taste of how weird it can be to meet people you’ve been talking to for a year online in person.  It’s really good, but it’s really frightening/exciting too.  The people who are going to Vegas are a pretty tight-knit group of women, and we all know A LOT more about each other than we probably should.  I’m fairly certain we will all get along, but I still worry that I’ll be annoying and weird, or I’ll fart uncontrollaby, or laugh so hard I spit rum and Coke out my nose.  It’s happened, you know.  It’s like high school again - the wringing of hands over “Will they like me? Am I COOL ENOUGH??? What the HECK do I WEAR???”  Thankfully I know that they are all going through the same set of anxieties.

I also had an incredibly taxing day today. Mike threatened Arden with not going to Little Gym tonight if she had a repeat of yesterday (a hint about yesterday:  I post a talk on Maya’s Mom entitled: “3 1/2 year old for sale - includes clothing, toys, and bedding”).  There were ELEVEN tantrums yesterday.  Unfortunately I had to go to the Post Office. Yes, only me would end up with two kids at the Post Office on APRIL 15.  TAX DAY.  Lines out the door. I had to pick up a package. It took nearly 40 minutes.  After the first well-behaved 15 minutes, Arden started literally bouncing off the walls (she was throwing herself against the wall while giggling maniacally), while Lily spun in circles belting out “Ring Around The Rosey” over and over AND OVER again.  Then they started pulling up their shirts and showing the line of people their bellies (and nipples), and Arden decided to scream “NO” at me and tell me “It’s NONE OF YOUR BUSINESS MAMA!” when I asked them to use their inside voices.  Yes, that phrase was used incorrectly, but it’s entirely frustrating when you can’t scream “Don’t talk that way to me, you little creepy crud!” because so many people are watching you.  Anyway, it wasn’t their fault, but I felt fried by the time we left there.  Add to that a short nap, then swim lessons, then a trip to the library (which include much more hissing on my part of “INSIDE VOICES!  STOP JUMPING ON THAT BENCH! YOU ARE NOT GOING TO LITTLE GYM!”), the drive-thru at McDonald’s, eating in 15 minutes, then gymnastics, and I am very tired. 

So in about 12 hours from now, I’ll be hitting the road to Norfolk! I wish those of you who are watching my children the best of luck, and please don’t call me when they explode, break something, or scream NO at you. 

It’s been a busy 24 hours.  Cristin came up from Durham and spent some quality time with the girls (and managed to sneak in some education too - she never removes her third grade teacher hat).  We had dinner and she played non-stop with the girls.  They love her so much.  Lily cried when Cristin drove away today. Arden mercifully was napping, so I didn’t have to watch her try to cling to Cristin and beg her not to leave.  Cristin did a fun art project with them this morning - they made suncatchers out of buttons, scraps of tissue paper, and clear Con-Tac paper.  She’s such a nerd. I love her.

Then, some friends from Maya’s Mom came to Richmod.  Kendra’s leaving for Italy next week for 3 years (her husband’s in the Navy).  Jo lives in a teeny-tiny town in WV, but very near the VA border, so we all met in Richmond to meet formally.  Unfortunately, Kendra got seriously lost around all the construction in Short Pump, so she missed out on some of the Jo time.  Jo looks like a model - she’s beautiful.  Kendra is hispanic, like me, and is also gorgeous.  She has beautiful hair and skin.  She’s also super nice.  We got caught up on the kids, who was doing what, and Jo and Kendra both filled me in on what to expect during the teen years.  Hopefully I can be as good a mom as they have been and be lucky enough to have well-behaved kids like theirs!!!!

I’m posting some photos from lunch.  I also know that I have some weight to lose, but good god, I looked horrible today. And that was even with makeup and doing my hair!!!!

Here we are outside of the restaurant.  Jo, Kendra, Me. 

We annoyed the waitress by asking her to take our picture together:

And acted like geeks with our cameras:

It was so great to meet them in person.  I wish they both lived closer.  Or actually, I wish I lived in Italy.  But I can’t.  Sigh.

On a totally separate note, I took some pictures of Lily’s latest artwork.  They are so darn cute.  They melt my heart.

And one that includes Delilah in the upper right hand sector:

What a day.  Seriously.  If the army, navy, air force or marines is looking for a new secret weapon, let me introduce them to Arden.  The 3 year old who can kill with sound. 

Imagine, if you will, a tiled, public bathroom.  Add Arden, exhausted from swim lessons and hungry.  Introduce the idea of changing in the cold, aforementioned public bathroom.  Add the shrill sounds of her high-pitched screams to the tiled, public bathroom.  I’ve never seen other people exit a small area so quickly in my life - and nothing was on fire, I swear.  Kids running from the bathroom, hands over ears.  Even my mother, who never yells at the children, yelled at Arden.  We were all just hoping she’d shut up before my ear drums burst into a million tiny bits. 

Why was she having a fit? No idea, really. She can’t articulate during her rages.  She just screams louder if you try to talk to her or worse yet, reason with her.  She is definitely “one louder”.  She definitely “goes to eleven”.  She is definitely killing me with her “I’m transitioning to life with mommy full-time and I’m going to let her know about it by screaming a lot during the day” attitude.  I have become the mother who yells. I am now “one louder”.  I now “go to eleven” on a regular basis. Someone turn me down please. 

I am halfway through week 3 of WAHM/SAHM.  The fact that I am still aware of how long it has been scares me a bit, but I like to mark time.  It makes me feel like I’ve accomplished something. 

Just like everyone said, some days are better than others.  Some mornings my reserve of patience and kindness is blown by 10AM - other days I am still giggling when Mike gets home.  Some days I bribe my children to get them to behave - other days they just do it. 

I love lists - so here’s my list for the week:

THE BAD

1.  Yesterday as I was carrying a basket of laundry during nap time, I actually was overcome with grief that this was my life.  I know that I will eventually find meaning and motivation in my daily tasks, but right now I am still mourning the loss of my business head.  I shook it off and continued on with whatever needed to be done, and actually cleaned the living room before allowing myself to sit down.  Lots of women tell me that they get all of their satisfaction and fulfillment from raising their children.  Am I insane?  Why can’t I be like them?  Don’t get me wrong, I do get a lot out of being home with them - that’s in part II of my list.  Currently I chalk up my inadequacy at fulfillment to transition.  I’m not 100% there yet because I’m not used to it.  In the meantime, I go through the routine of the days - getting the girls ready, going to the Y, showering, random errands, lunch, naptime, something fun for the girls, dinner prep, eating. 

2.  Arden is still very much transitioning to being home with me.  We had lunch with Miss Christine the other day. On the way back to drop her off, Arden got very quiet and subdued, and told us that she wanted Christine to stay with us all of the time. She is very attached to her teachers - she still frequently demands a visit with Windsor - and being away from them is hard on her.  It breaks my heart when I see how much she misses them, and preschool, but then again, my heart was broken when she used to beg me to stay home.  Sometimes being a mom just sucks - nothing you do is ever 100% right.  Her tantrums have been going up - as many as 4 a day, which might not seem like much, but then again, you haven’t been around Arden when she’s raging.  Today we’ve had one and I’m hoping that is it. 

3.  I miss making money. It’s not like I made a lot over the past year, but getting that check and knowing I earned it made me feel good.  Being totally reliant on Mike’s income is weird for me. I’ve been working since I was 12 - even though at that age, it was just for my parents. 

4.  Although I’m “enjoying” cooking, I can’t tell you how ultra-annoying it is to have the girls turn their noses up at EVERYTHING I put in front of them.  I know this is payback for how evil I was to my mother’s cooking growing up, and believe me, I apologize every night silently to her.  But when will this punishment end?  at 16?  18?  I may lose it if I bust my butt another night trying to squeeze in a nutritionally-balanced meal between swimming lessons and play dates, and they tell me they don’t like it before even seeing it on the plate.  At this pace, we’re going to be back on Spaghettios and Mac n Cheese very soon.

5.  I am SO tired all the time.  I don’t know if it’s the working out or the constant frenetic pace at which I seem to move through the days, but man, I AM TIRED.  Naptime is too precious for me to waste it sleeping, but I am hoping this is also a transition.  Will I get used to this?  All I want to do is SLEEP!!!

6.  Trying to take work-related calls while the girls are beating each other in the backseat or the family room is really, really difficult. 

THE GOOD

1.  It’s 1:40 PM, and I’m sitting in absolute silence, listening to the waterfall in the backyard.  I used to come home occasionally when I worked, and I never wanted to leave my house.  I’m enjoying being able to do some things I haven’t had time to do, like blog in silence, or plant some flowers, or organize the kitchen. 

2.  Arden’s preschool is offering half day preschool next year. I am seriously considering signing Arden up for it - it’s fairly affordable and from 9-1 every day, or I could take her 2 or 3 days a week.

3.  My house is a bit more clean.  I’m anal enough where things like that matter to me. 

4.  Working out every day of the week is fabulous for me.  I’m sure it’s fab for my health as well, but emotionally, going and doing it consistently really helps my brain.  I had forgotten how much working out helps with depression and anxiety.  Today I was totally “in the zone” - I felt like screaming, “Yeah, my butt is fat, but I OWN YOU, YOU STUPID ELLIPTICAL MACHINE! You’re MINE!” 

5.  My work stress seems to be better.  Except when I try to talk on the phone around the girls (see number 6 above).  Then I just want to scream.

6.  Lily has always been loving.  Arden, however, liked to hold me at arm’s length. She is now getting closer to me and her love and hugs have made it all worthwhile.

A belated sorry to my friends and family I have been neglecting while adjusting to Cristina Version 36.1.  All of my energy has been spent trying to get in the swing of things without losing my balance. 

Mike and I are actually going out on a date night, after being prodded by the Yeagers.  We’re going somewhere for dinner, then heading out to Dublin’s Irish Pub in Mechanicsville to see Seven Nations.  Nothing like a little Irish Rock to get you going!  Mike and Troy can get all beery-smelling and Jennifer, Tracy and I will be subjected to crass 16 year old humor, no doubt. I am looking forward to it!

Amanda actually got me listening to Irish rock/punk.  I love subjecting the girls to a little Flogging Molly first thing in the morning.  Gets me all fired up for the impending sweat fest at the Y.

In other music news, I had the pleasure of “meeting” Meredith Brooks (of “Bitch” fame) online.  She has a son now, and recorded a children’s music CD that I can actually listen to without gouging my eyes out.  It’s called “If I Could Be” and you can check it out here.  She’s still hard at work out in California, doing tons of great work with kids and producing up and coming musicians.  For me, it’s been very cool getting to know her as a mom and a person first - then finding out later I was talking to someone “famous”.  She’s a mom, with the same mom problems we all have.  Struggling, like me, with work/life balance and how to get it all done in a day.  Lily and Arden LOVE the CD and sing along loudly, and off key.  You can find out more about what Meredith’s been up to by checking out her blog, too.    I was quite inspired by her work.  Thanks for the CD, Meredith - we all love it!!!

The phone has not stopped ringing today, I am behind in my emails, my house is a mess, and I never realized the importance of nap time until I became a stay at home mom.  Good lord, I’m about to lose my mind!  Lily and Arden are running back and forth between their rooms, giggling, alternately crying, finding “bugs” that need to be taken care of by mommy (the last bug was a lintball), going pee every 5 seconds (after Arden has already had two temper tantrums when I ASKED her to go to the bathroom), screaming for me to “wipe” them, needing water, falling out of bed, and wanting their covers rearranged. Who needs the gym when I am going up those infernal stairs every 30 seconds?  The last time I was up there, my head swivelled around on my neck like a rabid owl and I felt steam coming out of my ears. I was so supremely annoyed and tired that I went to threaten them with *something* and nothing came out of my mouth!  Finally the words came, and I screamed, “Neither of you will get to help me wash my car this afternoon!!!!”  Oooh, good one, Mom-o!!! They were just DYING to help you wash the car - you really know how to push their buttons!

Apparently the scary neck-swivelling was enough to shut them up, because I haven’t heard a peep in the last two minutes. I don’t think I am going to survive this gig unless they stay in their rooms a minimum of an hour a day.